Subject: new church member requirements....


A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them,

"We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain
from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the
Church.

When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying, and the
husband is obviously very depressed.

"You are back so soon........Is . there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from
sex for the required m! onth," the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to abstain
through sheer willpower.

The second week was te rrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to
abstain.

However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer,
reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.

One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When
she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way
with her right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated
the pastor.

"We understand," said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome
at Home Depot, either!