'Senior' personal ad....

(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4'
(used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga
and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated
flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my
Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a
groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my
eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can
remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many
new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition,
but walks well."