seniors

Subject: Reality of an Elderly Senior


> I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's
> permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take
> an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and
> down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on,
> the class was over.
>
> Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is
> the
> best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No
> peer pressure."
>
> Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
> elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
> "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She
> responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
>
> Must be in Arizona --- I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass
> surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
> diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
> take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
> blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel
> my
> hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my
> friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
>
>
> An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she
> had
> two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she
> wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher
> exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice
> a week."
>
> My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
> as it used to be.
>
> Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
>
> I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are
> just prone to swinging.
>
> It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
>
> These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast
> relief."
>
> Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child
> playing with matches.
>
> Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!
>
> Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old
> because you stop laughing.
>
> Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh heck,
> send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are.