So you think you’re the only one who can be funny when getting pulled over by a cop? Well, in this edition, the police officer strikes back! All those cop jokes we’ve been posting have finally caught up to us, a police (or as he preferred to be called… peace) officer out of Nevada sent us this little list of things cops like say too…

“You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on this ticket, huh?”
“Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a dog or cat?”
“Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
“In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”
“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
“Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
“Now exactly how big were those ‘Just two beers’ you had?”
“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
“I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Paulk is a personal friend of yours. You know someone who can post your bail.”
“You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.