In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

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On a Septic Tank Truck :

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At a Proctologist's door:

"To expedite your visit please back in."

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On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

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On another Plumber's truck:

Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

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On a Church's Billboard:

"7 days without God makes one weak."

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."

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At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

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On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

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In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

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On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

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At an Optometrist's Office :

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

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On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."

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On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

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At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

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Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

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At the Electric Company :

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."

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In a Restaurant window :

"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home :

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling Station

"Thank heaven for little grills."

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And don't forget the sign at a

Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak."