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Senior Funnies

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

WHY SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE LET OUT OF THE COUNTRY … (or maybe not let back in!).

Actual comments from U.S. travel agents …

I had someone ask for an aisle seat on her flight so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked: " Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with " I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained:" Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response… click (of the telephone immediately).

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a one-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said : "I heard Dallas is a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time. "

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked : "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, " No, why do you ask?" She replied, " Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. Is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it, I came back and explained that the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them. "

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, " Yeah, whatever."

A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports. I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said "Look, I've been to China four times, and every time they've accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?", replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with: "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered "You don't mean Buffalo, do you ?"

"That's it! I knew it was a big animal."

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