Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On another Septic Tank Truck:"We're #1 in the #2 business"
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At a Proctologist's door:"To expedite your visit please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
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On a Church's Billboard:"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:"Invite us to your next blowout."
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On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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At a Towing company:"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Nonsmoking Area:"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office :"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:"No appointment necessary We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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At the Electric Company:"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window:"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station , "Thank heaven for little grills."
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And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:"Best place in town to take a leak "