The New Alphabet

A is for Apple, and B is for Boat, That used to be right, But now it won't float! Age before Beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now: A is for arthritis; B is for the bad back,C is for the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,G is for gas which I'd rather not mention H is for high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget ! what comes next N is for neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P is for prescription's, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; there's ringing in my ears! U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know. W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y is for another year I've made it through, Z is for zest I'll still have-- when again I see you.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's not destroyed, And I am keeping twenty 'doctors' gainfully employed!!!