These will start your day with a smile...........
Mother & Daughter:
The mother of a 17-yearold girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!**********************************************
A Sign Of Change:
There were two old men sitting on a park bench passing the day away talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"The second old guy replied, "I think she may be dead!"The first man asked, "What do you mean you THINK she is dead?"The second explained, "Well...the sex is the same but the dishes are
starting to pile up."
*************************************************
The Plane:
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese.""No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?""You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!""No, no," the copilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.""Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all alike!"There's a few minutes of silence. "No rike Jews!" the copilot suddenly announces."Why not?" asks the captain.“Jews sink Titanic," the copilot responds."Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg!""Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, no mattah... all same!"
Mother & Daughter:
The mother of a 17-yearold girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!**********************************************
A Sign Of Change:
There were two old men sitting on a park bench passing the day away talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"The second old guy replied, "I think she may be dead!"The first man asked, "What do you mean you THINK she is dead?"The second explained, "Well...the sex is the same but the dishes are
starting to pile up."
*************************************************
The Plane:
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese.""No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?""You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!""No, no," the copilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.""Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, you're all alike!"There's a few minutes of silence. "No rike Jews!" the copilot suddenly announces."Why not?" asks the captain.“Jews sink Titanic," the copilot responds."Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg!""Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, no mattah... all same!"
posted by Charles | 2:42 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home