THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
Your Clothes:1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYNconfirms your pregnancy.2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. _____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,breathing didn't do a thing.3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. ______________________________________________________
The Layette:1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,andfold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discardonly the ones with the darkest stains.3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick upthe baby.2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake yourfirstborn.3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities:1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children . . (The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN:God's reward for allowing your children to live!

"Worry doesn't help tomorrows troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness"