A Mother's Dictionary......
Amnesia:A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to get pregnant again.
Bottle Feeding:An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 a.m., too!
Defense:What you'd better have around "de yard" if you're going to let "de children" play outside!
Drooling:The way in which teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter:One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family Planning:The art of spacing your children the far enough apart to keep you just on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback:The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name:What a child is called when he or she is in trouble.
Grandparents:The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay:What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable:A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent:How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look Out!:What it is too late for your child to do by the time you finish screaming it.
Oops:An exclamation that roughly translates into "get a washcloth".
Prenatal:When your life was still somewhat your own.
Prepared Childbirth:A contradiction in terms.
Puddle:A small body of water that unavoidably attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
Show Off:A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize:What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom:The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper Tantrums:What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Thunderstorm:A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
Top Bunk:Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
Two-Minute Warning:When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal:Able to whine in words.
Whodunit:None of the kids that live in your house.