Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going
to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the
rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth?" That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&! amp;^( C .. ... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going
to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the
rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth?" That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&! amp;^( C .. ... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
HILLARY CLINTON: Shoot the damn chicken. Fine the farmer who owned the chicken. Pave the road with the money from the fine and build a monument to the chicken. Roast the chicken for dinner. Steal some corn from the farmer's crop, take his cow for the butter, to use on the corn. Tax the farmer for use of the road and increase the price of chickens so they become to valuable to let run around on the road.
posted by Charles | 3:37 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home