"You Know You're Getting Old When..."

* people compliment you for how good you used to look.
* you drive with your hands in the 10:00 - 2:00 position.
* you pull a muscle while applying Ben Gay.
* you work sex into the laundry cycle.
* you "sleep in" till seven a.m.
* you bowl for exercise.
* you say that "age is just a number."
* you forget things ... like stop signs.
* your dog drags around a fire hydrant.
* there's no room left for mental notes.
* you recognize your furniture in the antique store.
* you sing along with elevator music.
* you finish entire novels over a bowel movement.
* you announce said bowel movement to family and friends.
* you stop bending down to get things and learn to use your toes instead.
* you eat your raisins one at a time.
* your just-woke-up face lasts all day long.
* you start to write lists like this one.