Jury Duty.......

I always thought jury duty was something you could politely decline. Like fruitcake.
But recently, being summoned, I discovered that "jury service is not voluntary but a civic duty imposed upon all citizens pursuant to civil code section 204."

Desperate, I called my shrink for a note.

"It's jury duty, Jason. You can't plea insanity."

Pursuant to civil code section 204, I called the court and requested a one-time postponement, which the county clerk took personally.

"You're not happy with the date, Mr. Love? Well, when would this be convenient?"

"How about never. Does never work for you?"

It's not that I'm unpatriotic; it's that I HAVE A JOB. Now I'm just spit-ballin' here, but why not direct some of that 18-digit tax revenue to professional jurors, people who are at home watching Court TV anyway. Certainly they are more qualified than a man who, for a living, writes fart jokes.