ETHEL......

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to

charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and

getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the

other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky

Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a

firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held

it up to him.

"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped

out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to

him.

Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am." As Ethel neared the final

corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt-Naked, and holding

his "You-Know- What" in his hand.

"Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Breathalyzer Test again!!!"