JUST FOR FUN.......
Apartment sign #1: “No baby carriages or foreign cars allowed in the lobby.”
Apartment laundry room sign: “Please be courteous and remove your clothes promptly,”
Apartment stairwell sign: “No urinating or defecating in stairwells by human or animal is not permitted.”
Atheist Not: “Thank God I’m an atheist!”Auto Junk Yard (New Jersey): “We have Japanese auto parts.”
Auto Repair Service Station: “Try us once - you'll never go anywhere else again.”
Awning Manufacturer’s Door: “Just a shade better.”
Back of a Bus: “It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.”
Bakery #1: “It’s nice to be kneaded.”Bakery #2: “Keep your wait under control – take a number.”
Bank: “Drive thru cash machine.”Bar: “Lunch now being poured.”
Bar Counter: “If Your Cup Runneth Over, Let Someone Else Runneth the Car.”
Barber Shop: “Haircuts while you wait.”Beautician: “Remember the mane!”
Beauty Salon (Boston): “Curl Harbor”Billboard: “Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.”
Bingo Hall: “Legalize Bingo. Keep Grandma off the streets.”
Biology Professor: “Clones are people two.”Birth Notice: “Mrs. Jody Defries is pleased to announce the arrival of Elijah Joel – 8 pounds 10 ounces and the loss of twenty pounds.”
Blood Bank: “Donate now - don’t let us be caught with our pints down!”
Boarded Excavation Site (New York): “Danger! Compliments of Vitiello Blasting Mat Co.”
Body Repair Shop: “May We Have The Next Dents?
”Bookstore: “If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.”
Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.”
Building Project: “Unemployment Isn't Working!”
Butcher Shop #1: “THIS WEEK ONLY: T-BONE - $1.00”… Pedestrians had to step much closer to read the type underneath:With meat: $12.00Butcher Shop #2: “Let me meat your needs.”Butcher Shop #3: “The Best of the Wurst.”
Cabinetmaker’s Truck: “Counter Fitters”Cafeteria: “Swift, courteous self-service.”
Camouflage Store: “Wise guise.”Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
Car Mechanic #1: “Come see us if you need a brake.”Car Mechanic #2: “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”Car (rear bumper): “Don’t be a bumper-sticker.”
Car Wash (Saskatoon): “If you can read this sign, it’s time to wash your car.”
California Smog Station: “Can UCLA?”
Car Bumper: “Ban Bumper Stickers”Car (on an Indian reservation): “Custer got Siouxed.”
Car sign: “Sex Appeal – Give Generously.”Car (slow moving): “I brake for tailgaters.”
Cardiologist Office: “With all my heart.”
Catholic Church during Christmas Season: “Closed for the holidays.”
Cemetery Plots: “Invest in an underground condominium.”
Chalked on a Post-no-notices Wall: “Down With Graffiti”
Chicken Incubator: “Cheepers By The Dozen”
Chinese Laundry: “We don’t tear your clothes with clumsy machinery – we do it carefully by hand.”
Chinese Pet Sore: “Buy one dog, get one flea.”
Church Billboard: “7 days without God makes one weak.”
Church sign: “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, you can ignore this notice.”
City Bus: “Thinking of committing suicide? Perhaps we can help.”
Classified Ad: “Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.”