How To Translate Things Men Say.......

* "It's a guy thing." really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
* "Can I help with dinner?" really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
* "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
* "It would take too long to explain." really means... "I have no idea how it works."
* "I'm getting more exercise lately." really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."
* "We're going to be late." really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
* "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." really means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
* "That's interesting, dear." really means... "Are you still talking?"
* "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." really means... "I forgot our anniversary again."
* "That's women's work." really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
* "You know how bad my memory is." really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop' and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
* "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." really means... "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
* "I do help around the house." really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
* "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing. "Really means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
* "I can't find it." really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."