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Senior Funnies

Jokes, pictures and stuff emailed to us. PICTURES CAN BE ENLARGED BY CLICKING ON THEM............ NO ANNONYMUS COMMENTS ALLOWED!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

The good old days...

An old friend sent this to me:
"Hey Dad," My Son asked the other day, "what was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?" "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up."
"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?" "We ate at home," I explained.
"Your Grandma cooked every day and when your Grandpa got home from work, we all sat down together at the table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I had to sit there until I did like it."
By this time, my Son was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer some serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to get my Father's permission to leave the table.
Here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I had figured his system could handle it. My parents never: wore Levi's, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country, flew in a plane or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a "revolving charge card" but they never actually used it. It was only good at Sears-Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears and Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore.
We actually did walk to school. By the time you were in the 6th grade it was not cool to ride the bus unless you lived more than 4 or 5 miles from the school, even when it was raining or there was ice or snow on the ground.
Outdoor sports consisted of stickball, snowball fights, building forts, making snowmen and sliding down hills on a piece of cardboard. No skate boards, roller blades or trail bikes.
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 12. It was, of course, black and white, but you could buy a piece of special colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day.
Pizzas were not delivered to your house back then, but the milk was. I looked forward to winter because the cream in the milk was on top of the bottle and it would freeze and push the cap off. Of course us kids would get up first to get the milk and eat the frozen cream before our mother could catch us.
I never had a telephone in my room. Actually the only phone in the house was in the hallway and it was on a party line. Before you could make a call, you had to listen in to wmake sure someone else wasn't already using the line. If the line was not in use an Operator would come on and ask "number please" and you would give her the number you wanted to call.
There was no such thing as a computer or a hand held calculator. We were required to memorize the "times tables." Believe it or not, we were tested each week on our ability to perform mathematics with nothing but a pencil and paper. We took a spelling test every day.
You never saw the Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers or anyone else actually kill someone. The heroes back then would just shoot the gun out of the bad guy's hand. There was no blood and violence.
When you were sick, the Doctor actually came to your house. No, I am not making this up.
If we dared to "sass" our parents, or any other grown-up, we immediately found out what soap tasted like. For more serious infractions, we learned about something called a "this hurts me more than it hurts you." I never did quite understand that one?
I must be getting old because I find myself reflecting back more and more and thinking I liked it a lot better back then.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your kids or grandchildren.

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