A man owned a small farm in Iowa... The Iowa State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years". "I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board". "The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board". "Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here". "He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night". "He also sleeps with my wife occasionally." "That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit," says the agent. "That would be me," replied the farmer.