Humor Page: family
The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long.
Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all."
The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home."
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My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food ... she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. "
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Some where I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" said the truck driver.
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Realizing that their home just wasn't big enough with the new baby in the house, Little Johnny's parents discussed moving to a bigger one. Little Johnny sat patiently listening to his parents, then piped in, "It's no use. He'll just follow us anyway."
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"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair.
"I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" asked his wife.
The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow!"
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Grandma & Grandpa were on the porch, and Grandpa said, "You know, honey, I'd sure like a big bowl of ice cream."
"OK, my dear", she said, as she shuffled off toward the kitchen.
"Wait, write it down," he said, "... you'll forget"
"Com'on, don't be silly, I can handle that"
"Write it down" he said, "'cause I want some chocolate syrup on it too." he insisted.
"Don't worry, ice cream with chocolate syrup, right?" she said, as she walked into the kitchen.
Ten, 15, 20 minutes passed and finally Grandma came out & handed Grandpa a big bowl of oatmeal.
"See, honey, what'd I tell you ... you forgot the toast!"
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married."
The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long.
Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all."
The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home."
----------------------
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food ... she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. "
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Some where I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" said the truck driver.
---------------------------
Realizing that their home just wasn't big enough with the new baby in the house, Little Johnny's parents discussed moving to a bigger one. Little Johnny sat patiently listening to his parents, then piped in, "It's no use. He'll just follow us anyway."
--------------------------
"Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair.
"I'm very sick, would you please call me a vet?"
"A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" asked his wife.
The husband replied, "Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a silly cow!"
-----------------------------
Grandma & Grandpa were on the porch, and Grandpa said, "You know, honey, I'd sure like a big bowl of ice cream."
"OK, my dear", she said, as she shuffled off toward the kitchen.
"Wait, write it down," he said, "... you'll forget"
"Com'on, don't be silly, I can handle that"
"Write it down" he said, "'cause I want some chocolate syrup on it too." he insisted.
"Don't worry, ice cream with chocolate syrup, right?" she said, as she walked into the kitchen.
Ten, 15, 20 minutes passed and finally Grandma came out & handed Grandpa a big bowl of oatmeal.
"See, honey, what'd I tell you ... you forgot the toast!"
------------------------------
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married."
posted by Charles | 6:33 AM
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