An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all."
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Two fish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this?”
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What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?
A Baboom !
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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
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The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”