Rules of Life.......
I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.

I love deadlines..........
I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem

My reality check bounced..........
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Rules of the Stock market Life..............
The stock market, be it on Wall Street or the Stock Exchange is always in the news. We think you may like to see these 'headlines' on the stock market news:
Pencils lost a few points
Elevators rose
Mining equipment hit rock bottom
Helium was up
Beef steered into a bull market
Paper was stationary
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading
Weights were up in heavy trading
Feathers were down
Light switches were off
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel
The market for raisins dried up
Balloon prices were inflated
Kleenex tissue touched a new bottom
Knives were up sharply
Sun stocks peaked at midday
Diapers [Nappies] remain unchanged.