HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES!!

1.-- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2.-- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3.-- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

4.-- The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5.-- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6.-- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

7.-- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

8.-- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

9.-- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

10.-- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

11.-- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

12.-- We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

13.-- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

14.-- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

15.-- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

16.-- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

17.-- If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

18.-- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.