Wacky Definitions.................

Alimony: Bounty on the Mutiny
Appetizers: Little things that you eat until you lose your appetite.
Argument: A discussion in which you're right, but the other person hasn't realized it.
Bachelor: A rolling stone who gathers no boss.
Bachelor: One who's footloose and fiancée free.
Bachelor: A man who has missed the chance to make a woman miserable.
Bachelor: A man who can take women or leave them, and prefers to do both.
Bachelor Pad: A wildlife sanctuary.
Ballet: For women only.
Bigamy: The same as Marriage: Having one wife too many.
Blonde Jokes: Short jokes that men can remember.
Cantaloupe: Got to get married in a church.
Classic Clothing: Wearing outfits that you already have.
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Depression: Anger without enthusiasm.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the children would like to order dessert.
Ecstasy: Something that happens between the Scotch and soda and the bacon and eggs.
Experience: Knowledge that allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Falsies: Extra padded attractions.
Feedback: The return of food that the baby didn't like.
Football Game: A contest where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth.
Full Name: What you call the kids when you're angry at them.
Gigolo: A fee-male.
Gold Digger: A girl who's got what it takes to take what you've got.
Good Clean Fun: A husband and wife taking a bath together.
G.R.I.T.S: Girls Raised in the South
Grocery List: Something you spend 30-minutes writing, and then forget to take to the grocery store.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Happily Married Couple: A husband out with another man's wife.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when someone uses a bad word.
Household Dust: A harmless, natural occurrence that only women notice.
Income Tax: The government's version of instant poverty.
Infantasies: Daydreaming about having a baby.
Instant Credit: Instant debt.
Intellectual Girl: One who can think up excuses that her boyfriend's wife will believe.
Job Forwarding: Termination; being sent to your next job.
Jury: A group of 12 people selected to decide who has the best lawyer.
Lipstick: Lip coloring that enhances a wife's mouth; but on a husband's collar is a color that only a tramp would wear.
Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.