blondes

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and
one blonde says to the other,

"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can
I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed
her knee and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on
his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch
dogs!"